[...well, that image is enough to distract him for a hot minute. He still has fairly vivid memories of the way Barry's body had felt, leaning him into the wall as Barry kissed him like he was drowning. And he already knows what Gwen does to him.
It takes a supreme effort to push that aside, and he's definitely been silent long enough that he can't pretend he wasn't thinking about it. Not to mention the way his pulse had skipped ahead a little at the idea. But no, not right now, right now he needs to emphasize this. A little.] I suppose I'll have to live with that risk. He should know.
[ ohyeah, see Gwen's still a little fuzzy right now, but she knows what that pause is all about. she can guess. it's flattering, makes her smirk a little bit up at the ceiling.
but he's thinking, so she's finally sitting up just enough to look around and find some kind of blanket or sheet to pull over them before settling back again. she even puts some effort into making sure they're both covered up. but now she's laying on her stomach, kinda, face and shoulders turned towards him, so she can actually look at him. she nudges at him with her shoulder until his hand is resting on her back, and he can pretty much settle however he wants okay, she doesn't mind, as long as he's still giving her nice touches, and he's still close.
so she can press up for another kiss, yep. she likes kisses. ]
I'll tell him. I'll tell Cisco too, if it'll make you feel better. [ she smirks again ] Anybody else? Should I just make a post to the network about it? [ she puts on a bubbly voice. well, as bubbly as she can manage with little energy and her voice a little raspy ] Hey everybody, just letting you know I'm banging the hot STAR Labs guy.
[Once she's found one of his sheets and brought it back, Harrison slides a hand down her back to pull her closer, happy to lean into the kiss. And maybe he lets his lips roam down the edge of her jaw as she keeps talking, and at the last, bubbly prospective network post, he huffs and gives her a little nip of teeth.] The hot STAR Labs founder, thank you.
[Then he relaxes again, wrapping an arm around her waist, fingers settling at the small of her back and rubbing lightly, back and forth.]
Just Barry. And Cisco if you like, although I assume he'll just make a face at you.
[It's that shifting of Barry's hips that brings Harrison back to his senses. He blinks his eyes open, still a little dazed from the surprise of feeling Barry's hands vibrating against his skin and the memory it brings back, and his fingers slide to the back of Barry's neck as he pulls back just enough to whisper.]
Barry. Wait. [He keeps his arm tight around Barry's waist, not letting him move back, this isn't a rejection, this is only a pause. Because he needs to know, searching Barry's face.] I'm not him, Barry. Is that what you want?
[ her laugh gets muffled by the pillow she's squishing her face into now, but that did make her laugh, yeah. it makes her laugh because it reminds her that yeah, even when she's with this guy who's pretty suave and pushes all her buttons with his voice and his eyes and his- everything, yeah, he's pretty much a giant nerd. a leader of nerds, even. king nerd! she's fine with it. ]
Oh, maybe. I don't know. I'll figure it out. Later, not now. [ she sighs another sigh, pleased, as her eyes shut for a second. just a little short while! ] For now I'm gonna just lay here and think about you and Barry kissing each other. Mhm. Mmmmhm.
You should be. [Still muffled into her neck, before he leans back enough to settle on the pillows. He's not going to win this battle against sleep much longer, but he has enough energy left to roll his eyes at her appreciative noises and pull her closer before he finally drifts off.
In the mornings, Harrison isn't a lounge-in-bed person. He's more of a lounge-against-a-wall-with-coffee person, a vertical lounger, while he waits for his brain to wake up. This is his first morning-after waking up with Gwen, and he's now discovering that she is, while still apparently fully asleep, not about to let him escape without a fight. It takes some doing, but eventually he disentangles himself and steps into discarded black jeans and makes it to the kitchen, where coffee is essential.
God, he can feel every muscle he has, all lodging complaints in order, but it makes him smile as he leans against a wall and waits for the coffee to be finished.]
[ the nutty part is that Gwen was only really half awake when Harrison tried to get out of bed, but she was just aware of herself enough to try and pull him back into bed with every attempt he made to get up, sleepy super strength and all. but she accepts it after a while, lets him go. thirty minutes later, she's getting up too.
she's not sore, but she feels good, yeah. great sex, great mood. sometimes she's aware of it enough to try and tone it down, but right now she probably looks a little smug as she finds her way into the kitchen in just her undies and one of his shirts, sleeves too long, torso only barely managing to cover her butt. whatever. that's why she put her underwear back on.
she finds a clear spot of kitchen counter to pull herself up onto, because that's just what spider-totems do. who needs chairs when you've got something slightly more elevated than a chair? ]
Coffee smells good.
[ how she managed to make that sound smug and pleased, even with her voice still a little gravelly from sleep, is beyond her ]
[And when Gwen arrives in the kitchen, Harrison isn't going to be shy about admiring the way his shirt looks on her. He hadn't bothered to find a shirt, so between them they have one whole outfit.
Mm. He likes that tone. She sounds, and looks, as smug as he feels, although he might hide it a little better. He pours a second mug of coffee as she perches on his counter.]
Coffee is good. How do you take it?
[His is black, but he has sugar and milk and cream, mostly for the benefit of overnight guests. But she doesn't need to get up again. Later on, there might even be breakfast.]
[ it's cool, she's watching him too, toes tapping at the air in an attempt to keep her fingers from drumming on the countertop instead. it's not even a nervous habit, just- a habit. she's always got a beat in her head, even first thing in the morning after waking up. but anyway, she gladly takes her coffee cup from him once it's offered, but she's reaching out with her legs to try and keep him close, heel hooking around his calf until he's moving to stand in front of her.
she's not gonna go in for kisses ( hello, morning breath mixed with coffee breath ), but she does lift a finger to trace over his collarbone, eyes following the movement before flicking up to grin at him ]
I'd apologize for giving you a hickey, but I kinda like it. It looks good there. [ she touches her own shoulder next, close to her neck ] M'pretty sure I'd have one right here if I couldn't heal so fast. I can still feel it.
[Oh, well, if she insists on pulling him between her legs, he'll lean his hip against the counter, comfortably braced against her knee. He smirks a little as he runs a finger over the mark on his skin, thankful for a moment that she's at least placed it low enough that it won't show. He prefers to keep his private life private, but he won't mind catching glimpses of it in the mirror for a few days.] Don't apologize.
[Then he leans forward to examine that bare spot on her shoulder.] Right here? Hmm. [He presses a kiss to it before straightening and taking another long drink of coffee.] Shame. That would look good on you too.
[ Gwen thinks about setting her coffee down for just a second, but she knows it would turn into much longer than that. keeping her hands occupied, yep, gonna keep doing that, even if one hand is occupying itself by letting her fingers trace lines along his shoulder and the side of his neck, yes. that's behaving. ]
I'd encourage you to give me a new one, but I'm not sure I'd be able to stop myself from dragging you back to bed if you did that, and I'm sure you have plans for today.
[Harrison shifts into her hand absently, leaning one hand on the counter next to her hip, coffee secure in the other. She can keep doing that, he isn't going to object one bit.]
Enough to do that I shouldn't be so tempted by that. [But he twists to drop a kiss against the back of her hand and straightens.] Breakfast?
[ breakfast. as if on cue, her stomach grumbles, reminding her that yeah, she's definitely due for some fuel. she takes a big sip of her coffee, lets her legs unwind from around his. ]
[He doesn't really want to move, he's comfortable here, she's warm and the morning is moving slowly, a rarity for him, but breakfast is enough to get him focused again.]
( well that's. not exactly reassuring. it isn't a long time between barry's last text and him standing in harrison's living room, but it's long enough for his anxiety to get the better of him, useless trains of thought that have him wondering what the issue is. is it -- them, maybe? or something else? he isn't sure. he arrives at one conclusion himself, though, however off base it might be, and when harrison sees him, barry ducks down his neck, rubbing the back of his head nervously. )
Is this about Gwen? I'm sorry. I know it's -- weird. I would've -- if I knew you two were ... I would've ... you know. Said something.
No, it, this is not about Gwen. Although that was. Weird. For a few minutes when she mentioned... [He trails off, because clearly Gwen had mentioned it to Barry and he certainly doesn't look upset about it, which only brings back that brief vision of the three—
Well. He'll be dashing that idea like an empty bottle before a bar fight now.]
It's about Eobard. It—well. It's...it's really about Tess, that's how it started.
[He's thought a lot about how to address this since his conversation with Bruce, and there's no good answer. He's just going to need to be wretchedly honest.]
I've been talking to him. Rarely in person, actually not in person for weeks, but when we're both awake at three in the morning... [Vague gestures to indicate 'who else are they going to talk to?']
( eobard he mentions, and even the name forces barry to stiffen, eyes a little wider, but listening closely. things are serious, when they involve eobard. what has he done, what rule has he broken, how do i fix it how do i fix it ...
there's a physical recoil once harrison gets it out, the brief flickers of yellow anger flashed across green eyes, some upset at the notion. talking to him, eobard, the reverse flash. he would think it was some ploy, maybe, some attempt on harrison's part to obtain data or some insight, but ... his voice is softer, apologetic almost, unhappy.
he mentioned tess. you don't joke about that kind of stuff. )
You're -- ( they aren't beside each other, but barry takes a step backwards anyway, betrayal written across his expression that he tries not to show. tries to be emotionless and strong, and not let another one have control over his feelings. ) -- why? You -- you know what he did to ... to all of us.
( to me, he means, as if that would get harrison to care more. )
[He's already pulling himself back, and it hurts to watch him schooling his expressive face. Harrison isn't Eobard, but he's putting himself in that same category now, isn't he? His voice comes out low and rough, a half-whisper he sinks into that sounds like every word is being dragged rapid-fire out of his heart.]
I know, Barry, I do know, and I swear to you, I would never say a word to him about you, not. Not a word. I haven't, and I'm not going to, I just—
[He scrubs a hand through his hair, rubs the back of his neck, staring at the ceiling, entirely unable to explain why. He doesn't know why it's so difficult to cut off this connection now that he's made it.]
It's going to be ten years this year, and he remembers her, and I know, I know he's the reason she's gone on your Earth, I know, but there are so many...differences...between my Tess and his, the first Wells, I got greedy and I'm still greedy.
( a quivering lip dictates some emotion barry tries not to name but does anyway, heartbreak and ah, he knows this particular variety exceedingly well -- eobard's betrayal, jay's betrayal, eddie choosing iris, always falling second to gwen after cisco ...
he looks away if his eyes feel watery, not wanting harrison to have the privilege of hurting him -- as if it's something noteworthy when everyone, eventually does. his mind is reeling but he listens, searching for any obvious answer that might be better than the reality -- maybe this isn't harrison, maybe it's eobard, maybe it's all a game and when eobard starts laughing cruelly with a vibration in his throat, it'll be relief that barry feels, not agony.
he has no clue who this is, the more he thinks about it. no idea. eobard or harrison -- does it even matter? )
That isn't fair. ( bringing up tess, her death, her murderer who harrison has no problem with discussing her to, apparently. every human emotion eobard feels is exclusively because he's wearing harrison's skin like a puppet. ) You're asking me to be fine with it. Is that it? You want me to tell you oh yeah, that's fine, carry on. What do you expect?
A lot of things aren't fair, Allen. [It comes out before he can stop it, a cold-water dash of the old Harry Wells who had no trouble at all hissing hurtful things at the Flash when his daughter's life was on the line. But nothing else follows it, not yet. It takes a physical effort to keep the distance intact, to stop himself from moving forward, or even reaching out. Barry doesn't want to close the distance.]
No I'm not asking you to be fine with it. I'm telling you because... [He takes a slow breath in, lets it out on a sigh, briefly wonders when—or if—he'll see Barry again after this.]
Because I care about you. Barry. And I know you're not going to believe me, why would you, you see this as a betrayal of you, and of course why wouldn't you, why would my life and my memories before I met you matter, and that's why I was going to keep it a secret from you, but it wouldn't have stayed that way. And you've had enough people lie to you to keep you safe.
No, ( he carries on, stubborn with emotion, eyes welling up so he can't see the space in front of him, let alone harrison's face -- eobard's face, he imagines, an unkind smile that twists and sneers, that enjoys barry allen's tears and waits for blood to follow suit. ) you don't get to manipulate me like him. You care about me? You know what he said to me, when he got here? He said he loves me. ( with a fake laugh, through it. ) You sound exactly like him.
( because what does barry allen want more than to be loved, cared for, taken care of? they know, the two of them, this weakness of his -- he's sure of it, paranoia suddenly settling in that brings him back to who and how he was before, afraid of any persons he gets close to, ready for them to rip off their masks and be hideous on the inside, cruel and evil. not that he thinks harrison is evil, of course, or he really doesn't know what to think -- just that harrison, who he did in fact think cared for him, who he ran to when he was petrified of eobard, was only there with comforting arms and kind words for the moment.
and in the next, he was talking to eobard. 3am mornings, where barry allen sits across town working fruitless equations to get eobard out, because working science is easier than panicking in his bed, scared, unable to sleep with tossing and turning, like when he turns around eobard might be there, with a vibrating hand through barry's chest.
i would never say a word to him about you. he's not sure he can believe that. )
You want to make me feel bad for being upset at you for doing something stupid, and -- and mean. ( childish words, he sniffs, rubbing his wrist on the bottom of his nose. ) Y-you can ... you can think however badly on me you wanna, it doesn't change that you know I'm right. And when Eobard finds it's more convenient for you to be dead, he won't hesitate to kill you and Jesse, and anyone you care about, because that's how he is. You're -- ( a thousand insults, maybe, but he can't really blame harrison. barry fell for his manipulation too, dumber than all the rest. ) I trusted you.
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