harrisonwells | EUDIO: IC INBOX

really?

( he is kind of genuinely surprised by it, not entirely sure what he expected -- immediate rejection is something he's used to, so maybe he anticipated that, just from exposure. his text is immediate because his texts usually are, but that doesn't mean it isn't deliberated and debated on, worried over before a helping hand tells him just to press send ( thanks, gwen ). )

why?

What do you mean why? How many reasons do you want?

[He'd never meant to care this much, but he does, and it isn't going away, that isn't painfully obvious?

Maybe it isn't.]

I care about you. I wonder how you're doing. I think about calling you first and decide against it because I screwed up and I hurt you and you deserve to be angry at me for it.

damn straight

( is the Cool guy immediate response, entirely not how he's feeling but his fingers are too quick for anyone to stop. )

really?
you mean all that?

i reacted badly, i know i did
i'm not going to apologize for being worried about you, because i care about you too
and bc you're wrong but neither here or there
i don't think right when eobard is involved
should be better at it since i'm all hero or whatever
but i'm really not, i know that too

i get it too sort of
i mean not really but kind of
i'd be wrecked if anything ever happened to iris or gwen
i don't know what i'd do
probably just die or something
i know it's not the same

i'm also rambling right now i know because i don't know what to say really
i'm just kind of actually sick of losing people
and i don't want to add your name on that list so
yeah that's it i think

[It takes a little while for the answer, partly because it takes a lot of thinking about, and partly because Harrison wants to make sure he's gotten everything out that he needs to get out. At least right now. There's got to be more.]

There was no way not to hurt you. I knew that. I told you the truth because the secret, or hearing it from someone else It would have been worse. I thought it would have been worse. I'm not lost if you don't want me to be, Barry.

you did the right thing
i think

( though, right to him will always be you shouldn't have gone to him in the first place, but. he's trying to be understanding. a little. he's trying his best, at least. )

i don't want you to be
but it's not that simple i don't think so
i don't know how to trust you
or
i don't know
i do but i feel like it would be smarter if i didn't
because i don't know what side you're on

Yours. Barry. It's always yours. That's why I can talk to him. If he made me choose, there wouldn't be a choice. He knows that.

but i don't

( maybe he does. maybe he's just being difficult. barry allen does have, as it stands, an overwhelming sense of faith within harrison wells -- a belief that he's capable of only when he's been hurt in such away, but still ... wanted, somehow. like when he'd confessed to iris but she hadn't run away in disgust at the sight of him. he's confused by this emotion entirely, not sure whether he's genuine about harrison being a good guy, or just emotional for anyone who's willing to care about him enough to want him around -- another text takes a few seconds to come in, but it's long enough in speedster terms. )

would you tell me about tess?

You should.

[It's trademark Harrison Wells brusque, but after that, texts show up in succession, with a few pauses in between the rapidfire delivery.]

Tess would have had a lot to say about the risks you take, she would have had better ways to take them. She was always the one who found the way out when I wrote myself into a corner. All those times you found me snarling to myself in the lab I was thinking about the way Tess would have come in and seen the problem without trying. STAR Labs wouldn't exist without Tess. Neither would Jesse. She talked me into having kids. She would have liked you. It'll be ten years this year. Jesse was nine.

( part of him feels like he should run over there and gather harrison up in his arms, but a grander part is glad for the barrier of text in between their talking. it affords barry some decency he wouldn't otherwise have, some potential to be more considerate than his initial first reactions. )

she sounds like a really smart lady
i wish i could've met her
and seen you two together

( i wish i could've seen what you were like when you were happy. )

was it hard raising her on your own?
you never remarried

[Harrison is thinking along the same lines, grateful for the distance, the privacy that lets him collapse just a little at the tiny table in his kitchen for this conversation.]

I never even dated. I never saw anyone else seriously until Jay. Sometimes raising her was the most impossible thing in my life. Sometimes there was no right answer. She was so smart. I was terrified. I still am. I wish you could have met her too. She was so warm. Even when she was angry. Missing her is still a part of every day.

you dated jay???

( alright, maybe he should be. less surprised by that. but you know.

harrison has a speedster kink who knew. )

i don't have too much insight with being a parent like at all
but i've got tons of experience being a son ( he feels like he just had this conversation recently, with bruce. )
and jesse is a really smart and beautiful and talented girl
she's witty and stubborn just like her father
so i'd say you've done a pretty good job by my standards
tess would be proud

did it ever get easier?

[Oh. Right.

Jay's been on his mind ever since he'd first appeared. He'd forgotten that had never come up when he and Barry had been discussing Jay Garrick.]

It's still not easy, but it got easier when I saw how tough she was. Tough and brilliant. Just like her mother. Thank you. It means She's my world.

[And then he should probably address that...other...thing.]

'Dated' is a strong word. But. Yes. A little over a year.

you're her world too
i mean i don't know that but
joe means everything to me
yeah

it's okay
i mean ummmmm
if it's weird to talk about i don't know
just
now i'm more concerned about what caitlin said??
are you okay do you need someone??

I'm fine. I don't know. Caitlin was exhausted when she talked to me. I don't know how much to It's He can't be. I know we didn't end well, but I've seen him since he came here and he's exactly the same, he can't be.

i trust her more than i trust anyone else in the world

( and barry believes her no matter how ... kind jay garrick seems. he's learned to trust certain people more than others. )

but i understand if you don't
maybe
i could go home and check it out maybe

[And so would Harrison, if what she'd said hadn't been so difficult to even process, let alone accept.

It's Jay. It's his Jay.

It takes a long time for the answer.]

I thought he was dead. Twice, I thought Once when he disappeared to your world, and then The breach But he's here. I can't just I can't just believe he's the man who stole my daughter.

i understand

( not really. he's not sure how he could, but -- yeah. he gets it. )

please just be careful
i'm not

i don't know how to handle you putting yourself at risk all the time which i am very aware is rich coming from me but
i don't hang out with proven murderers and potential kidnappers

[Well. He's already all but admitted it to Jay himself.]

I probably loved him. That has to mean something. But if it's true I'll Thank you

oh
i see

okay
you sound like you wanna be alone so i will let you do that and stop being stressed out about whatever happened between us because we're cool now i promise
lets hang out sometime or something if you want

You still haven't come by to see my STAR Labs. You should come by.

any free time to spare?

I do actually. It's a slow day here.

i can be over in a jiff i'll bring chinese food

How did you know I haven't eaten since breakfast? See you soon.

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metre - 2016-05-08 05:25 (UTC) - Expand

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